I hope you enjoy these Monday morning laughs from Dahlia. Check out her post!
Hello friends! How was your day? I spent an exhausting weekend catching up on my allergies. Now myriad muscles are crying out in protest against the unwarranted exercise due to excessive sneezing. And it hurts the most when I laugh. Ah well enough of my woes – time to laugh a bit. I just returned […]
Ew! There’s probably no teacher who hasn’t encountered all kinds of creepy crawlies at school. If you’ve taught at a newly-built school, you won’t be surprised to learn that these adaptable critters have set up home in their new environment. Many teachers gently transport 6- and 8-legged creatures outdoors, which I can support for about 3 months. After that…. I am less than excited about catching wolf spiders, which could qualify in Olympic high jump meets. If these arachnids ever get their hands on a javelin, we’re in trouble.
Then there are lice. Why is it that my head itches as soon as I read that word? When we got a notice that lice were in the school, the poor nurse had a dozen itchy teachers asking for a quick scalp check. I still remember a kiddo with lice who rested his head against mine! How could that happen?? I am not a touchy-feely teacher, nor do I encourage kids to get in my personal bubble. And yes, my own kids had lice, so I understand how ubiquitous they can be. Contrary to some backward thinking, lice are equal opportunity invaders.
Lastly, roaches are soooo happy in paper-laden storerooms, file cabinets, and stacks of old books. They truly love cardboard boxes, which serve as homes and food. And what teacher doesn’t have some cardboard boxes? Crud.
Speaking of homes, I’ve made hundreds of home visits over the years but only once did I encounter roaches. I was talking to a mom when a roach crawled freely around her collar and shirt. I think I should have told her, but my foot went through the floor of her mobile home and got wedged there, so I was further distracted.
I have this tune running through my head: “Dem deer, dem deer, dem demin deer.” Don’t know it? Think of “dem dry bones.”
Mama, when do I get denim? When you can carry a tune, dear.
Thanks, Jennifer Nichole Wells, for your Color Your World challenge, which has officially joined The Twilight Zone.
Dear Deer talk?
I AM SURE THIS IS TRUE. THEY LOOK INNOCENT BUT I KNOW BETTER.
Wassup? Nuthin. Where is she? On the couch, STILL in her pajamas. What are we gonna do? Nuthin. I mean it. It’s no fun unless she’s chasin’ us, barking like a fool dog. Or tossing ice cubes all over the place. What about those day lilies? They look mighty tasty. Jus’ wait. No fun eating them if she can’t chase us away. It gives me indigestion to eat and run. Aw, wimp. Hang on. It’ll be worth it. Don’t you already have enough photos of her running up the hill, tripping on branches? I’m hoping for fame, dude. Something that can go viral. I hate that word. Huh? Viral. My aunt got the viral and she went all Terminator. Dude, the only zombie deer is in that crazy movie, Train to Busan. Maybe it’s real. Naw, your aunt ate too many of those day lilies, is all. I think she’s watching us. You’re paranoid, little brother. She’s got a gimp leg and acts all stupid. What do you mean? You saw her putting a Venus fly trap on the porch, right? Who does that? All I’m sayin’ is this is a waste of time. Eat a few periwinkles, then. Maybe it’ll perk her up. I thought you said she wasn’t watchin’ us. [Sigh}
Hop on over to Chris’ site to enjoy more Maxine funnies!
Source: Maxine Comic Collection
You must check out the Bluebird‘s post for the cleverest connections of cat photos to literature. My faves are “Macbeth” and “Little Women.” Teachers could use this idea to spark interest, compare-and-contrast, and book conversations! The one below is “Bambi,” of course.
Read more funnies (and everything about writing) at Esther Newton’s blog!
I bring you astounding news. You won’t be able to believe this, but…
This is hilarious! I wonder how long it took them to perfect this? Click and enjoy!
If your dream career is conducting a symphony orchestra, you might want to reconsider. Aleksey Igudesman, Sebastian Gürtler, and the Upper Austrian Youth Orchestra demonstrate: