Funny Moments at School — Pete Springer

An Excerpt from They Call Me Mom

You have to be prepared to fill so many roles when you work at a school, particularly when you are an elementary teacher. One year the school nurse (in an age when schools had school nurses) asked if I would take on the job of sex education teacher […]

Funny Moments at School — Pete Springer

Pete has a terrific sense of humor and I laughed out loud at the homework excuses. Even funnier are his parenthetical remarks. You won’t want to miss this post!

* My kingdom for an editor

I will not break my self-imposed rule about publically reviewing a book I cannot give 5 stars.

I’m currently reading a detective series that has a lot going for it. The plots are quite clever, they all have happy endings (4.999 stars right there), and the characters are believable. If only I could edit them for the author! Argh! My brain won’t let me glide past numerous incredible errors, perhaps because some are quite humorous. Here’s a sentence I’ve created using a few of my favorites:

As I rode into the town with its population of $7000, I gave up the reigns of my horse because I was Busched.

What? Were the books written on an iPhone? I’ve had some seriously awkward word substitutions with Siri, so I sympathize. Sort of. I was trying to find the key to our storeroom (shed) while my dear teaching widower was out of town. He has this unhappy habit of popping keys in his jacket pockets and driving off into the sunset. And yeah, I was dictating this while dr*****, too.

Me: Do you have the sh#! key?

Him: What?

Me: The sh*@ key.

Him: What?

Me: Did you put it in your pocket?

Him: What?

Me: The sh@! key! I need to spray the deer.

Him: WHAT?

* Happy New Year!

Although this isn’t the REAL new year, the 2018-2019 school year, it’s still a great time for taking stock of where you’ve been and where you are going with your students.  Bless you if you live and die by pacing guides and a district that emphasizes teaching to the test.  Ignoring that major speed bump for now, my best advice is to love your students each day.

What does it look like to love your kiddos?  Believing in each one.  Knowing their strengths and challenges.  Smiling and laughing.  Connecting with families.  Being patient with them and yourself.  Buying a daily calendar with pages that can be ripped off and torn into shreds if it was THAT kind of day, never to be held against anyone.

On the topic of daily calendars, I bought us the 2019 New Yorker cartoon version and am most disappointed.  You can even buy the cover cartoon as a poster, if you lack a sense of humor and have a bare wall in your shed.  My dearest teaching widower had to google it before we understood the “joke.”  You know what they say about explaining jokes….*  Of course, we may hold the minority opinion on that.  No one has asked me to publish anything anywhere.

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I’ve got a lot of catching up to do in the blogosphere but I am not making any resolutions.  You could make it a resolution to read my blog every day, knowing full well that there won’t be daily posts.  That will give you time to follow up on other resolutions, such as reading current brain research, hunting for new teaching technologies, and using that new gym membership or exercise app.  Right.

  • Ding dong

* R.I.P. Silver

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The kiddos made a prophetic movie of Silver using the ActionMovie FX app.

Silver‘s engine blew up two days ago.  That Subaru meant a lot to me, mostly because of how I got it.  I was at a back-to-school event and of course, still there long after it was over.  My dearest teaching widower called to ask when I was coming home.  He also asked if I had expected a package from UPS.  I said a DVD was on the way and he said the package didn’t look like that.  I drove home immediately and there was a huge brown package in the driveway.

I was puzzled but saw the UPS markings, etc. and my dearest widower said since it was addressed to me, I should open it up.  As I pulled on the “box,” I realized it was heavy brown paper, not cardboard.  I started unrolling it and saw the bottom edges of tires! I was totally flummoxed (obviously my blood sugar was low!) and the next-door neighbors, who were hanging out of their upstairs window, yelled at me, “Open it up!  Keep going!”

I kept unraveling the wrapping paper and realized it truly was a vehicle!  “Did you wrap a car from the state pool?” I asked my widower, who was looking less thrilled by the moment.  (Since he traveled for the state, he often used a state car when driving a long distance. )

“No!  This is not a state car!” he exclaimed.

“Did you steal a car?”  (I am still not sure why that was in question….)

The neighbors laughed and my dearest widower, ever patient, said calmly, “No, I didn’t steal it.”  I actually repeated that question numerous times as I ripped off the final shreds of wrapping paper.

The silver Forester sparkled, brand new with with shiny black hooves tires.  I thought of the old TV show, The Lone Ranger, and immediately named it Silver.  Sadly, I was still asking my husband if he stole the car as we went in the house.  Poor guy.  Seriously, we never bought something that big without doing it together.  And no, my dearest teaching widower has never stolen ANYTHING, except my heart.

* Sunday funnies — bluebird of bitterness

From The Babylon Bee. Average American Now Complains More in a Week Than People Living Through the Black Plague Did Their Entire Lives Demonstrating just how bad modern life has gotten, surveys now show that the average American today complains more in a week than people living during the black plague complained throughout their entire […]

via Sunday funnies — bluebird of bitterness

You know how funny she is.  You think you have read it all.  But then, Bluebird of Bitterness comes up with more reasons to laugh, all the while exposing my griping personality!  

funnies

* In case you ever need this sign… — Chris The Story Reading Ape’s Blog

Yes, but I need more time!  Chris’ blog is a terrific place to find all kinds of reading gems.  Check it out!

 

Out of my mind – Back in 5 minutes

via In case you ever need this sign… — Chris The Story Reading Ape’s Blog