Okay, it’s really Free Fings Friday. Thank you, dear Nerd in the Brain, for your inspiration to stop and appreciate the happy fings. And to play Pokemon Go!
The best news this week is that my mind is slowing emerging from Lead Apron Syndrome. You know that heavy lead blanket radiologists drape over you, the one that supposedly stops you from glowing in the dark after multiple x-rays? Kidney infections wrap and seal that sucker tightly around your head. I’ve been “shielded ” from sensible thoughts all week. I thought I could work. WRONG! I thought I could muscle my way through this infection with will power. WRONG! Now I am in the “I can do anything” mode, as I sit here in my PJs. I kinda like this stage. If only my heart didn’t ache from not being able to teach.
As usual for this time of year, the hill behind our house is a daycare center for fawns. Mommy deer park their spotted babes who wait obediently for hours until mama returns. I don’t know a single child who would do that for 5 minutes, much less all day. It’s horrible out there: hot and humid, bugs and snakes everywhere, no sign of mama. Is this instinctive or does mama threaten her babe with a lead apron?
My dearest widower has been SOOOOO kind. Hot tea for the chills. Hot tea for comfort. Food and blankets and prayers and warnings (“You may not go to work! You may not drive!”). My precious sister has coated me with enough prayers for this infection and any for the rest of my life. Their love, and that of so many others, makes me cry. I’m not invincible, I’m not in control, and my will is not enough. And that leads me to the arms of my Lord, who knew that all along. He smiles at my feeble understanding and grips me tightly. He will never drop me or leave me. He gave me this strong will for survival, knowing that with His power, despite my will and the lead apron, all is well with my soul.