I was reading about Carrboro’s Goat Squad and decided that if I start a second career, I might ask Diana Tetens for a job. She keeps a herd of 40+ goats, all named and well loved, for clearing underbrush. It’s a potentially pricey job for clients, because Tetens puts up an electric fence to contain the action and to keep the goats clear of plants poisonous to them. But like teaching, her profit margin is low (vaccinations, boarding, and upkeep), so I would feel right at home. The Goat Squad looks adorable and neighbors turn out in droves to watch these voracious critters eat their way through poison ivy and kudzu. The goats also butt you for affection. That reminds me of when I took my class to a petting zoo. The goat keepers gave each kid a cone filled with pet food. Within minutes, every child had been felled, all the cones were gone, and we decided that goats weren’t as cute as they looked. Still, it’s a tempting career choice. No wonder my young relatives love the Goat Commando 3D app.